When writer and YouTuber, Noor, began live tweeting a strange phone conversation she was having with her mother, she probably didn’t realise where it would lead or how much Twitter would enjoy the ride.

Thread. My mum is absolutely mad. This conversation just happened over the phone. I’m in my room upstairs, and she’s downstairs.

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

She called and whispered “can you keep a secret”

Me: Um… sure?

Mum: I need you to come with me to go get a parrot.

Me: What??? Mum, not again.

Mum: please just come, if you don’t, I’ll go alone

Me: YOU CAN’T HAVE A SECRET PARROT IN THE HOUSE

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: I CAN

Me: HOW. How will you hide this parrot?

Mum: In the kitchen

Me: LITERALLY THE LEAST DISCRETE PLACE IN THE HOUSE

Mum: It could work

Me: MUM

Mum: WELL NONE OF YOU WILL LET ME HAVE CHICKENS

Me: oh don’t bring the chickens up again

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: …

Me: where would you even get a parrot?

Mum: I know a woman.

Me: Who?

Mum: just a woman. With parrots.

Me: [sigh] Where is she based

Mum: somewhere

Me: MUM.

Mum: Look, I need a parrot

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Me: You don’t NEED a parrot, no one NEEDS a parrot

Mum: You’ll understand with age.

Me: ?????????

Mum: so are you coming?

Me: I… [sigh] you… [sigh]

Mum: is that a yes???

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Me: When?

Mum: Now

Me: NOW?

Mum: Now.

Me: … NOW???

Mum: get in the car.

Me: mum no, please. We can’t do this. Plus I’m busy until 3pm

Mum: 3pm. Be in the car.

Me: Omg dad is allergic to…

Mum: HE’S NOT, HE TELLS LIES

Me: MUM. Why would he lie??

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: …he has an agenda.

Me: [exasperated] what

Mum: an anti-parrot agenda

Me: please be reasonable, we have a cat

Mum: they will be best friends

Me: mum

Mum: 3pm.

Me: MUM

Mum: Be in the car.

Me: YOU’RE INSA- [she hangs up]

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

I’m going to try and talk her out of this. It’s ludicrous, we have two people in the house who might be allergic AND A CAT.

Will keep this thread updated ‍♀️

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

I TRIED TO TALK HER OUT OF IT AND NOW SHE’S SAYING ‘PARROT’ WITH AN ‘S’. She wants more than one???

Me: THIS IS RIDICULOUS

Mum: YOU CAN’T JUST GET ONE. It’ll need little friends.

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

I can’t believe I’m having to bargain with her. Trying to talk her down down from 4 to 1. PREFERABLY NONE.

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

She’s a stone cold liar. No one else in the house knows she’s going on this parrot mission. She just lied to my sister about where we’re going. My sister would actually scream if she knew about my mum’s antics.

Ngl, I’m starting to give in. Sitting here watching my mum lie like pic.twitter.com/qfH5k1XfAQ

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

We’re on our way to see the parrot lady. My mother looks crazy. She’s driving really fast and giggling to herself pic.twitter.com/Bl2kiDPRbg

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

My sister just called me asking where we are, my mum mouthed “TES-CO, say we’re at TES-CO”. I’m sweating. pic.twitter.com/C5DzxG9SBj

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

WE’RE HERE. BIRD LADY HAS CHICKENS. Mum is getting carried away pic.twitter.com/0axYXw5OFS

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Um. So… We’re on our way home. pic.twitter.com/JZ8fp7JY5H

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

My sister keeps calling. There’s going to be drama when we get home pic.twitter.com/HlKrJGPRHL

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

You don’t understand. We’ve been having this bird argument for a decade now. My mum has been fighting to get birds in the house for YEARS. There’s 11 of us, and half of the fam have always protested. I tried to talk sense to her but she’s gone full rogue.

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

WE’RE PULLING UP TO THE HOUSE. pic.twitter.com/s6ne6FKJ48

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Sister: What… what have you done

Mum: I’ve done what needed to be done. I need them.

Sister: You didn’t NEED parrots!!

Mum: THEY’RE LOVE BIRDS

Sister: NOOR, why did you let her do this??

Me: pic.twitter.com/Ny1wGw6w0L

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Sister: you can’t just bring birds into the house

Me: I mean she kind of just did

Sister: pic.twitter.com/TfLp0bOg6O

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Me: LOOK, I had to talk her out of chickens. And she wanted four parrots but I bargained it down to two. This could’ve been a lot crazier.

[enter kids]

Kids: AWWWWWWWW

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: just look at them, aren’t they precious?

Sister: Well yeah they’re adorable but we can’t keep them

Mum: pic.twitter.com/a8OS3YCgWz

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

All of the kids (& me): pic.twitter.com/nQZKf6n6e8

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Sister: [sigh] okay, well, let’s see what Dad says when he gets home. He’s allergic.

Mum: he’s not

Sister: mum.

Mum: he made it up

Sister: mum no.

Mum: As your mother, I am never wrong.

Sister: pic.twitter.com/R4Mt39tWQp

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

And now we wait for dad. pic.twitter.com/LFuE79W7mc

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

HE’S HOME.

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: Do you love me?

Dad: Yes dear, I love you but I don’t think tha-

Mum: I don’t need you to think, I just need to accept the situation.

Dad: pic.twitter.com/URaFRq1Spq

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Mum: I NEED them

Dad: You don’t NEED them

Mum: YOU DONT KNOW ME

Dad: WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 42 YEARS, OF COURSE I KNOW YOU

Mum: THEN YOU KNOW HOW BADLY I NEED THEM

Dad: I HAVE ALLERGIES

Mum: I DON’T SEE YOU SNEEZING

Dad: THAT’S NOT HOW ALLERGIES WORK pic.twitter.com/cWmlsxJc8m

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Dad: What if we just kept one?

Me: They’re love birds and they mate for life, they’ll very literally die without each other.

Dad [to mum]: that reminds me, I’ve booked us a weekend away for our anniversary this year

The rest of us: awww

Mum: pic.twitter.com/c9HneCvpsn

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

Sister: We really need to make a decision guys

Me: you’re such a mood killer

Sister: You better stfu, you’re just as bad as mum.

[long pause]

Dad: [sigh] what are we naming them?

Mum: pic.twitter.com/SbdLgqAazQ

— Noor (@Himynameisnoor) April 28, 2018

And that, my friends, is a masterclass in getting your own way.

via GIPHY